They must be tired of having jobs…

≡ Category: commentary, morons, politically incorrect |Comments Off on They must be tired of having jobs…

Anyone who pays even a smidge of attention to the world of the Interwebz has probably heard of Gawker Media, or at least their legal troubles. They’re the ones who posted the Hulk Hogan sex tape (*shudder*) and then got the pants literally sued off of them. Company going bankrupt, owner Nick Denton going bankrupt, the works. Denton seriously owes Hogan more money than the company (which was no “run out the garage” thing) was worth. The world at large probably should have just let them go under and laughed as the schmucks who had been on the payroll tried to find jobs elsewhere that didn’t involve asking if you would like fries with that or if you wanted extra foam on your already pussified coffee. But NOOOOO….. Univision, a major media conglomerate, went and bought the damn thing. Well, sort of…

You see, Univision, not being morons or beginners at this, put it in the contract that they were buying the assets of Gawker Media, but not the liabilities. That way, any debtor that was already coming after Gawker, or anyone who had filed a lawsuit prior to the sale, would still have to go after Nick Denton, not them. Smart, huh? They get the websites with pre-built traffic, and Denton gets to suck eggs. It’s win-win! Well, unless you’re Denton, I suppose. heh. First thing in the door, the new bosses announced that they were shutting down the old, never to see it return. It was too much of a problem, and had no real upside, so off with it’s head! The rest of the websites in the bunch would get to stick around, but there was definitely a new sheriff in town, and it’s name was Univision.

After a short while for the lawyers to look things over, a list of seven posts that were troublesome (i.e. lawsuits had already been filed regarding them) was drawn up and the requisite panel was assembled. You see, Univision was actually quite nice and said that any post deletions would have to be approved by a majority vote of a pre-determined panel. Long story short, they voted, and six of the seven were promptly replaced with “This story is no longer available as it is the subject of pending litigation against the prior owners of this site.” The seventh is still being looked at, as it might just be enough to remove a a photo protected by copyright. Seems pretty straight-forward, huh? They only bought assets, not liabilities, and continued publication of those posts could expose them to lawsuits, thus making them liabilities. Boom. They get rid of them and everyone working for Gawker Media breathes a sigh of relief at still having a job. Right?


First, the morons in charge of the sites (actually J.K. Trotter did the writing) write up a whiny bitchfest post about the executives voting to remove the posts. Basically, it’s a bunch of whining about the Univision execs doing things exactly how they were supposed to. Then, when that doesn’t get enough support from the huddled masses, the shit really hits the fan.

“The Gawker Media Editorial Union” posted a big multi-site-wide bullshit whine about how Univision said they would support them, and then they were mean ol’ bullies who removed their posts! This made them unable to do their work, and now they “face the task of trying to rebuild trust with Univision and find a resolution that will allow us all to once again do the work that we were all hired to do without fearing that our parent company might fail to support us when we need it most.” Well, first off, snowflakes, you don’t have to “rebuild trust” with Univision, you just have to do what they say. They are your bosses now, and as such don’t have to ask you anything. Hell, if they wanted to shutter the whole damn thing and tell you all to hit the bricks, it would be entirely within their rights to do so. They have nothing to resolve with you. They say delete, you delete. That’s the one and only resolution in this case. It isn’t hard to understand. Then they continue with “We hope that Univision will take extremely seriously its responsibility to reach an agreement with this company‚Äôs writers and editors that will allow us to safely do our jobs here.” Apparently, none of them have worked in a real corporate setting before, so they don’t realize that Univision doesn’t have the responsibility to make them feel safe. It just has the responsibility to make it’s shareholders money. Besides, what do these dipshits want them to do? Set up machine gun nests just inside the door? Maybe put a minefield between the elevator and the front desk? Come on, jackasses…. get a grip and step away from the safe space. You work for a real company now, not Nick Denton’s Playground o’ Whatever We Wanna Do. That way of doing things ran the company out of business. Which, just for the record, is the second time these editors have managed to do that. Ratter, anyone?

One really fun thing that I picked up from their BS rant… apparently, the idiots who write for and edit these sites consider themselves journalists! Seriously! I have a hard time even typing it. It’s a joke! They’re straight-up entertainment sites at best and pure tabloid trash at worst. The only difference between them and me is the number of hits that the site gets. And I assure you, I am no journalist. Unless you’re a hot twenty-something girl who has a thing for older, geeky “journalists.” Then, yes, I am absolutely the journalist for you.

Basically, these doofuses need to realize that the old way of doing things is done. It doesn’t exist any more. And now, they need to read the company rulebook, settle into their little cubicles, and pump out more dumb ass shit that no one really cares about. And when they go home at the end of the day, just thank their lucky stars that I’m not the guy in charge of it from Univision, because I would’ve already fired all of their asses and replaced them with any of the half-billion “professional bloggers” that are out here waiting for their chance at the big-time (meaning, getting an actual paycheck for doing it). Hell, I can think of enough to fill the entire staff just off the top of my head, all of which are better writers and wouldn’t whine a fraction as much.

And wouldn’t call themselves “journalists,” either.

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