Excuse me while I bitch…

≡ Category: commentary, politically incorrect, reviews |Comments Off on Excuse me while I bitch…

Yeah, I know that isn’t a new thing, but still…

This morning (barely… it was around 11am), I was perusing the shitty deals on Woot and spotted a shiny ad off to the side that said “$.11 Hot Pizza!” Never being the kind of fool to turn down a near-free pizza, I clicked (In fact, you can still see the page it went to, right here.), expecting it to be sold out, as they usually are on special things. Instead, there was the bright, shiny gold button that said it was available. I clicked, re-logged in (which is a rant for another day) and it was still available. I placed my order, and got a confirmation letter. Yes! $.12 (after tax) pizza! Score one for the hungry little guy! It said it was coming right then, so I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, after almost two hours (which just happened to pass all the way through the lunch hour), I get a sudden set of emails. One saying they refunded my money and another with some fucked up non-reason for cancelling the order. Seriously. It had a link to a Bagel Bites commercial on Youtube and some bullshit about pizza wasn’t a bagel, so I didn’t get any pizza, along with a rather snarky “Hopefully you’re able to snag some when it’s actually for sale this afternoon.” No, motherfuckers… it was on sale when I clicked on it! Whether you ignorant fuckwits want to admit it or not, it was a legitimate sale. You just didn’t want to hold up your side of the deal, because it was put up earlier than you wanted. Tough fucking shit, you whiny little bitches. I, and 49 others, ordered our pizza and were denied because of your mistake. Let that sink in… YOUR mistake. We did nothing but (attempt) to make a purchase from your slack-jawed, slow-witted site.

I really should have expected as much. Woot has gone downhill ever since Amazon bought them. They used to have awesome prices on good items. Now, it just seems to be the same, over-priced, refurbished shit day after day. Well, that and batteries. TONS of fucking batteries. Lousy batteries, at that. Woot-offs used to be a whole day affair of great prices on things everyone wanted. Now…. every day prices on the same shit, just one after another, instead of one a day. And Bags of Crap (their signature item) might as well not exist anymore. They used to be fun boxes of stuff they had extras of in the warehouse, with occasional super-prizes thrown in to excite the Woot-iverse. Computers! Bikes! A (used) Lamborghini! Pallets of stuff! Now… it’s mostly dollar store shit and items that were returned as broken. Last time I scored one, I got about such wonders as a notepad (seriously… a pad of paper), a bag of straws with the Dollar General $1 sticker still on it, a manicure kit (also with the Dollar General $1 sticker), and the big score – a watch with a built-on, non-replaced, broken band. It was literally junk. I threw it all away. Other people apparently got some tchotchkes from various Canadian companies. It is literally the shit they find in their desks. “Hey, instead of throwing this shit away and sending people things they’ll like, let’s just toss it in over-sized boxes and let them throw it away! Bonus for us!”

So, basically, Woot, I’m breaking up with you. You can keep the shit. Oh, and by the way… everything you heard is true. I’m an Amazon Prime member. So, basically, I’m fucking your older sister. Buh-bye!






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